I found this tattered receipt in a keepsake box of mine a few weeks ago and couldn’t figure out why, out of the 12 million Target stubs I acquire on a weekly basis, I had chosen to save just this one. Then I saw the date. January 5th, 2013. The last day I had spent with my Dad. It’s funny how you remember every single detail about a day, when you never even knew you’d want to.
I remember everything.
I remember Mom and Dad were coming down for a visit. I remember making chicken salad for lunch. I remember we ran out of mayonnaise, so the chicken salad ended up being a little dry, but Dad still ate two helpings worth. I remember I also made homemade ganache truffles for dessert. I remember we took a drive; went to Target, we needed a new DVD player for our entertainment system – and while we were there, I found one that was a bit out of our price range that fit every criteria we were looking for; I could tell Dad was struggling. Struggling, because I know had the circumstances been different, he would’ve bought that DVD player for us in a second. I remember stopping by our local skate park to see Dan on our way home. I remember finishing the night relaxing on the couch, watching Annie with Della, and Dad fell asleep like he often did when a movie was playing. I remember eating take-out pizza before they left for the evening; oh how we went back and forth between who would pay (later to find rolled up cash in my Pilot cup holder that next morning…)
You’d never think a receipt would bring back such a rush of emotions and memories as this receipt did. Memories that may not seem like anything extravagant or meaningful, but ones that will hold a very special place in my heart; always.
I don’t want to dwell on the day that is quickly approaching us… I don’t want to wallow in the harsh reality that my Dad died a year ago this coming Tuesday. I want to remember the good times. I want to cherish every possible recollection my mind can fathom. I want to grasp and hold tight onto every detail of January 5th, 2013, because that is a day that’s worth remembering.
Mom told me something recently that really pulled at my heartstrings and has been resonating with me lately… That we shouldn’t concentrate all this time we’re missing with Dad here on Earth, because the time we spend with him in Eternity is so much greater. There are few things that bring me comfort in this grieving process, and this is one of them.
I miss you, Dad.